Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
