I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
