Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
