Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
