I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
