I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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