are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
