I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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