Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
don't judge my taste in strippers
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Shame - the story of my life.
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