found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
