I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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