Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
