so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
