you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
