I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
