i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
