it's not cheating when I paid for it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
