He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
