I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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