adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
