i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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