I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Randomize