So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
