Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
