Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
