we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
