the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
