Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
