My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
