Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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