I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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