There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He shit in the fireplace
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
