There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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