I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize