She went from zero to smokin in five shots
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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