I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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