The maid of honor just puked.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
