I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
3 2 1 whiskey
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
