He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Randomize
