we need to drink 2009 down the drain
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
