i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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