i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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