life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
