I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
