If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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