Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
