And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
