Kareoke will never be a sober sport
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
