He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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