your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
