At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize