everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We are two peas in an std pod
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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