I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
did you just send me my own nude
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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