just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
