There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
