what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Did we literally take a cab across the street
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
