They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I came so hard my ears popped.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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