You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
