so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
