What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
