So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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