I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
