Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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