don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
