i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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