TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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